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Twas the night before christmas on drippys 2fort
 
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blacksheiladog
Super Regular
Heavy Flag
Percher

P: 12/05/2016 21:04 EST
E: 12/13/2016 02:57 EST
    It's that season again, so allow me to share my updated poem --revised with many more player names added this year (new stanzas are in italics). As always, my apologies to Clement Clarke Moore and Dr. Seuss....

Best seasons greetings to all and thanks to Drippy for another great year!

If you would like to be added, let me know and I can add new stanzas.
--Wally

_____________________

T’was the night before Christmas
And all through the map
Not a soldier was stirring,
And no one would cap.

The ammo was hung in the respawn with care
For dreaming of Epz always made us beware.
The virgins were !uNF'd by the regular gang
Cuz it's not just explosions that end with a bang.

I with my rail gun, nades on my belt
Sat waiting and hoping for winter to melt.
The light as it shone from the sky box above
Gave a luster of midday to forts that we love.

When out on the bridge there arose such a clatter,
That I sprang from the basement to see what was the matter.
To the battlement I ran with a Fatty-like waddle
For in 2Fort it’s always quite risky to dawdle.

The sound wasn’t Santa or even his deer.
It wasn’t like anything you’d ever hear.
In the distance although I could not actually see
Came a cackle and laugh of unnatural glee.

When what did my wondering eyes then behold?
T’was Walnuts come shooting his whole pipey load.
He spread them all over with true Christmas cheer
While somewhere in Texas he savored a beer.

His pipes were spread out all across the front door
In every dark spiral and over the floor.
But his ultimate weapon was not from his gun
No, his ultimate weapon was way too much fun.

More rapid than bullets, his insults they came
As I heard him taunt all of these players by name:
ILluSiON and Shemmie and Zed and Kyree,
Frankie and Med-Dick and Tref and Hicee,
Stunner and Nookie and Otto and B|ind
His insults were pointed but never unkind.

In choosing his targets he hardly was fickle:
DarkAngel and RedDog and Fred and Bicycle
Iggy and Olink and Buck and Xeroid
Not even my badger friend would he avoid.

The players he named were a server who’s who
Semtex and Slesar and even elf poo
Otto and Cyber and Nazgul and Skeetz
Sierra and Doomsday and other such 1337s

Kenny and Smoke, who add plenty of gore
And Ballsack who says he is angry no more.
And during “Burrito” there’s one player, Xeno,
Who unlike the rest of us never needs Beano!

There's Sandman who makes his return once again
As Drippy decreed he's absolved of his sin.
And snipers in diapers who run into spawn
Protecting their stats while the rest of us yawn.

With Iggy in spec because someone !reported--
It's certain a player will soon be deported!
A random !kick here, a fun !event there,
He tries to keep everything lively and fair.


Of course there's two others who've played here so long
Our medic friend Gaba and yes, ElKaBong.
And if you find chaos defending your base
It's likely Sincere is the one in your face.

There's Spoofer whose K/D is always so high
And Boner--he's always a true "stand up" guy.
Add GURRU and Calvin--for sure DS9
With Wisdom and Craving, a D oh so fine!

Blah with his crowbar so merry and bright
He swings it with gusto by day and by night!
Pasty and Cujo and fun Kurt Blo'Brain
And StaffSgtOlden will make you insane.

For State Farm insurance, Jake surely is best,
With clients like Majorturd, Path and the rest.
There's Trooper and G~man and Sp0t and our Tow3d,
And Nephilim gives us a Biblical ode.


I drew out my rail gun spinning around
As up the main ramp room he came with a bound.
His eyes how they twinkled, his crowbar so merry,
His cheeks were all rosy, his back was all hairy.

One look at his eyes which were crazy and red
Soon gave me to know I had something to dread.
I asked him if all of his insults were through
And he answered with nothing but STFU!

He spoke not word but went straight to his killing
In this he was clearly a soldier most willing.
In the midst of assaulting our base with his skill
He suddenly stopped as though doubting his will.

And laying a finger aside of his nose
He blew out some snot right down onto our toes.
But then he did something we couldn’t explain
As he pulled out a wreath with a nice candy cane.

He hung it aside our main respawn with care
as we stared at each other across acrid air.
Then he sprang off the battlement down to the water
Where he swam like a seal—no, more like an otter.
But we heard him exclaim, 'ere he dove out of sight —
Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!
  
EmotionallyDisturbedParakeet
Super Regular
FatGuy With
A LittleGun

P: 12/06/2016 01:41 EST
    Like  
JohnnyCanuck
Super Regular
WMD Creator

P: 12/06/2016 02:20 EST
    Nicely done, it would be way better if you could work in, 'snipers and diapers' in one of the lines. I would mention Wuhu too, good karma will happen.  
Mr. Walnuts
Daycare Manager
Pipey FlagCatcher

P: 12/06/2016 05:37 EST
    !skill  
blacksheiladog
Super Regular
Heavy Flag
Percher

P: 12/06/2016 07:19 EST
   
JohnnyCanuck wrote:
Nicely done, it would be way better if you could work in, 'snipers and diapers' in one of the lines. I would mention Wuhu too, good karma will happen.
I'll work on those suggestions
  
Nookie
Super Regular
Shotgun Quick
Draw

P: 12/06/2016 11:39 EST
    And if you find chaos defending your base
It's likely Sincere is the one in your face.

lies, kid has no skill.
  
Reddog
P: 12/06/2016 12:59 EST
    Well Done  
Ignorant_Florist
Daycare Manager
Pipebomb Monkey

P: 12/06/2016 17:24 EST
    Wally.... hit me up on Steam.... I've got an idea for you.

(for those wondering, "hit me up on Steam" is the 2016 equivalent of "meet me in the middle stall of the 3rd floor boys room, I've got a joint!" from days gone by)
  
BuckNasty
Super Regular
Destroyer of
HWGuys

P: 12/06/2016 19:53 EST
    nice Wally  
blacksheiladog
Super Regular
Heavy Flag
Percher

P: 12/06/2016 19:57 EST
    Thank you all. Since this is an evolving project year to year, here's some newly added lines (thanks to Iggy and Frankie for the ideas):

And snipers in diapers who run into spawn
Protecting their stats while the rest of us yawn.

With Iggy in spec because someone !reported--
It's certain a player will soon be deported!
A random !kick here, a fun !event there,
He tries to keep everything lively and fair.

  
Shemmie
Super Regular
Deadly Dispenser
Man

P: 12/06/2016 20:12 EST
    <3 Wally.

I hope you, and yours, have a wonderful Christmas.
  
blacksheiladog
Super Regular
Heavy Flag
Percher

P: 12/06/2016 20:38 EST
    Thank you Shemmie and best holiday wishes  
Ignorant_Florist
Daycare Manager
Pipebomb Monkey

P: 12/06/2016 20:53 EST
    I wonder if "departed" would be better, instead of "deported"............

I was still waking up when I made the suggestion, and my wife had probably had the news on while I was still sleeping.

Well done, as always, Wally. Anyone know of a "FREE" video editor I can use? I want to make something special for the season.

The "Windows" one is a bit confusing, and I may need to edit some audio to go with it.

  
blacksheiladog
Super Regular
Heavy Flag
Percher

P: 12/06/2016 21:06 EST
E: 12/06/2016 21:10 EST
    needs to rhyme with reported. But maybe if I ended the prior line somehow with "he farted"? Which makes me think that I need to spend some time on Ralphy  
Ignorant_Florist
Daycare Manager
Pipebomb Monkey

P: 12/06/2016 21:29 EST
    It's a one letter difference..... so it's close enough, I think.... I don't want to sound like Trump. ;)

  
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