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Fuck you cancer!
 
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Smoke
Super Regular
Soldier Flag
Defense

P: 04/29/2015 17:25 EST
E: 04/29/2015 17:26 EST
    As some of you know, for the past year or so my girlfriend Becca has been battling stage 3 ovarian cancer. Over the course of treatment, 3 tumors came and went along with her hair, health and in some cases her sanity and will to continue fighting the disease...
Being in this situation was very hard for me, and I can't imagine what Becca was going through. I can't describe what was going through my head, and was at a point where I didn't know what to expect or to do next. I reached out to Iggy, and his advice really put things into perspective. I don't think I ever properly thanked you Iggy, but I owe you a debt of gratitude.
Today is April 29th 2015, and happily I can say that as of this morning Becca is officially a cancer survivor!
Granted, it's not smooth sailing from here on out. However considering what we have been battling through recently, what's to come next will be a walk in the park.
Hell there's even the possibility that we may still have children too!
In closing, I again want to thank everyone who has wished both Becca and myself well, especially Iggy.
Anyway! I just wanted to share
  
blacksheiladog
Super Regular
Heavy Flag
Percher

P: 04/29/2015 17:48 EST
    sorry for what you both had to go through. So relieved to hear that the future looks much brighter  
Ritual_Masturbator
Super Regular
Engineer Flag
Toucher

P: 04/29/2015 18:03 EST
    <ralphy> Ovarian Cancer: I had this wonderful dream of seeing you in third degree burns. I have no issues of being a necrophiliac.  
Ignorant_Florist
Daycare Manager
Pipebomb Monkey

P: 04/29/2015 19:44 EST
    You owe me nothing, man. Just pass on your experiences if you meet someone else going through what we've been through.

I'm very happy to hear this news! Hopefully, it never comes back.

  
Smoke
Super Regular
Soldier Flag
Defense

P: 04/29/2015 22:27 EST
    I agree, we are going to do the relay for life this Saturday. She is a trained and accomplished ballroom dancer, and she hasn't danced since she was diagnosed, and she loved it so I know how much it was killing her not to be able to do it.
Hopefully now, she'll be able to get back into form and start competing again.
  
Anubis
Super Regular
Destroyer of
HWGuys

P: 04/29/2015 22:55 EST
   
Smoke wrote:
Becca is officially a cancer survivor!
Hell there's even the possibility that we may still have children too!
That's great to hear, and the possibility of children makes it even better.
  
Smoke
Super Regular
Soldier Flag
Defense

P: 04/30/2015 00:05 EST
    Agreed  
-X-
Super Regular
Evil Medic

P: 05/01/2015 22:17 EST
    Great to hear that. Hope you manage to have children as well.  
Nookie
Super Regular
Shotgun Quick
Draw

P: 05/02/2015 02:11 EST
    !unf becca  
[HCA]OldMan
Super Regular
Soldier Flag
Defense

P: 05/03/2015 19:28 EST
    With all you 2 have been through together, my only question is when is the wedding? Congrats on her prognosis!   
Smoke
Super Regular
Soldier Flag
Defense

P: 05/03/2015 23:33 EST
   
[HCA]OldMan wrote:
With all you 2 have been through together, my only question is when is the wedding? Congrats on her prognosis!
It's a good question, It's probably not too far down the road. I never wanted her to lose hope that she would get better, and after discussion with the rest of her family it cemented what I had resolved which was not to propose until we knew she was cancer free. My logic was that if she knew that we were going to get through the cancer before we got married it might give her another reason to fight.
That and I didn't want it to be construed as me marrying her out of pity or any of that bullshit.
Now that she can concentrate on getting back to who and what she was before this we will pick up where we left off.
In all essence our lives have been on hold since , I would say about mid January 2014. So we have a lot to catch up on.
  
Ignorant_Florist
Daycare Manager
Pipebomb Monkey

P: 05/04/2015 01:39 EST
    There ya go! Make it official, in your own good time. The fact that you stood with her, no doubt means the world to her.

When Rose was first diagnosed, she offered me "an out". Meaning that we could end our relationship and still remain friends. I looked her right in the eyes and said, "Rose, I love you. I'm not going to abandon you when you need me the most. We are in this together, and I'm in it for the long haul."

She smiled, and said, "It's going to be rough, and I wouldn't fault you if you didn't want to go through this. It's not what you signed on for."

"Yes, it is. Even though we're not married(yet), I am with you in sickness and health, forever."

I saw something in her eyes, right then. I know she wasn't "testing" me.... but I saw a combination of love, pride, and determination in there. As if I'd confirmed for her, what she knew all along. She knew I would be there for her, no matter what, and it meant a lot to her.

It takes a special kind of person to do that. While I'm sorry that you're in the club, I have nothing but respect for you for being in the club.

  
Smoke
Super Regular
Soldier Flag
Defense

P: 05/04/2015 03:06 EST
E: 05/04/2015 03:07 EST
    Honestly Iggy, your thread here really helped me out greatly. We still had the same issues that any other couple faces, however the cancer aside I never once thought about throwing in the towel. Her sickness was never a bargaining chip or a proverbial "out", I don't think that even if it had been left as an option would I have used it. I mean you can find a million reasons to leave a person as easily as you can find just one to stay. Becca never let cancer define who she was/is, it was just another part of our lives and like all other problems you find ways to abate and fix them.
So many people probably would have turned tail and run, and probably not many people blame them for doing so. But to make it a deal breaker for me would have been inexcusable. We are both stronger people for facing it head on, and granted there were times when it seemed that things couldn't get any worse, but through it all neither of us lost sight of the end.
So it might have killed our finances, three surgeries and over a year of weekly treatments (even with insurance the bill was close to $300 each week not including gas) lost wages, stress and anxiety about whether she was going to get better or not. And I'm sure, even though she won't admit it she worried about whether or not I could handle it, and wasn't going to give up and walk away.
I can say that the worse is behind us, and we actually did the local Relay for Life yesterday, I think it was a great thing for us to find fellowship with others who have been in similar situations, and as I told her it should mean everything that her team worded her luminary in honor of, and not in memory of. She was only asked to walk 3 laps during the event, she ended up walking 7 all together so her determination is still as strong as it has ever been.
I don't think it's quite set in just yet that she is officially a cancer survivor just yet, even though I keep pointing out that fact.
  
Ignorant_Florist
Daycare Manager
Pipebomb Monkey

P: 05/04/2015 03:51 EST
    I never considered even having the thought of asking Rose for "an out". When we found out(I was with her), it never occurred to me that "an out" might be an option, because I'm not that type of person. She offered it, because she had been through cancer before, and had a pretty good idea of the stress it could put on our relationship.

I appreciate the gesture of offering me "an out"... and I'm sure she didn't do it lightly. No doubt she was thinking of sparing me the stress, and mental torment of what could(and did) happen. It was her caring enough about my mental health to offer it.

There was, of course, no chance in Hell that I'd have taken it. I didn't even bother to consider it.

All relationships go through rough patches. If it destroys the relationship, then it wasn't that strong to begin with.

I saw a meme recently, where an old couple was asked how they managed to remain married for 70 years. They replied, "We come from a time when if something's broken, you fix it rather than throwing it away." How true that is. I have the same mentality, and no doubt, you do as well.

You two have gone through your own personal Hell, and come out stronger for it. I'm honestly glad that you didn't have to suffer through what I did. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.
  
DeathBringer
Super Regular
Pipey FlagCatcher

P: 05/05/2015 01:53 EST
    Happy for you smoke. Hope everything goes well.
On a side note. If my Ex got cancer Id throw a kegger. Party !
  
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